This is not a TV commercial, but it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You only have this minute or two once in your life. Divorce, like many of life’s other crises, makes people panic. Panic makes people freeze. One of the goals of this site is to get people out of panic mode and into action.

Right now, you are reading this, you are acting. You are not stuck inside your head. That’s good. You are seeking information. Knowledge will make you understand and feel better about your situation.

The best place to start any journey is where you are, so the best thing to do right now is to figure out where you are.  For now, try taking out a piece of paper and writing down what you think are the five most important issues you are facing.  Examples might be:  “I am overwhelmed with responsibility for my children” or “I do not have enough money to pay my bills” or “I feel threatened and unsafe around my spouse” or “I am angry and feel betrayed.”

Just the act of writing these things down will allow you to see them more objectively.  Next you might want to think of something you could do to address these issues.  If your issue is being overwhelmed with responsibility for your children, you could ask someone to watch them for a little while to give you a break.  If the responsibility is on an ongoing basis you could explore child care or organized activities for your children.  If there are larger issues, such as medical care, involved you could ask for help and support from friends and family as you work through your decisions, or you could ask for more help from the children’s other parent, if you feel that he or she is not contributing a fair share of energy to the process.

In future posts I will provide other plans of action, but the important thing is to act now.